How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
