yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
