I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize
