No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
