Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
a search helicopter?!
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize