Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
