I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
