it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
this hospital has no fireball
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
