remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
