Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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