"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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