it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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