I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Randomize
