it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
