That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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