i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I intend to get homeless drunk
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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