I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
