Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Randomize
