i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
