That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
