oh god the rape fog is back!
i may or may not be watching the land before time
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Randomize
