I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
