i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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