Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
So vagazzling was a success
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
