don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
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