At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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