I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
