i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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