oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize