What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I'm just crazy horny about you
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
