me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
So. Much. Porn.
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