Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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