oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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