Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
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