bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
