so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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