I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
