i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
