): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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