You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Randomize
