apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
