There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
