Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I'm both gender and math confused
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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