It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize