My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
