He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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