Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
No subtext here. People are naked.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
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