I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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