I queefed so loud it echoed.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
