If that was your dad, he is hot
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
