I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
