I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
