I am midnight drunk by noon
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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