they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
