marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize