i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
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