I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
She announced her abortion via fbk
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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