it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
